Hurting:

by | Mar 22, 2021 | Uncategorized | 2 comments

Written thee years ago, it still does💔

I thought I knew what pain was, both mental and physical. “I’m an expert, it was my major” I say to anyone who’ll listen. From my broken ankle while playing soccer, that had to be reattached with screws and pins. To my screaming brain, attacked by deadly meningitis as I lay in a coma for a week and woke up with my head in a vice. The ravages of Covid that replicated the deadly brain illness like a professional impersonator leaving me unable to move for three days.

Then there’s the mental hurt of young love vanishing like steam from a kettle or grief at the loss of a parent or spouse. The kind of pain that robs you of appetite and steals your hope for the future. Oh yes, I’m an expert alright. 

That was until one day, I discovered another kind of hurt, one felt by another. This pain relegated the above suffering to the lower leagues of agony. To feel your pain was to look beyond death, to stare at the Devil, shake his fiery hand. I never knew such a feeling could exist which combines physical and mental hurt. Where the heart threatens to stop at any minute leaving you short of breath. Where placing food in the mouth and chewing feels like an alien process. The brain questions every single action, deliberate or reflex.

That’s the pain I feel when I look at your sad face. When a single silvery tear appears balanced on your long, dark eyelashes like an Olympic diver poised to take the plunge. Your exquisite black eyebrows lift and part like the deck of a bridge, allowing a ship upriver. Your lower lip quivers causing your beautifully pointed chin to form a tiny wrinkle. These signals form the saddest portrait which even Van Gough in his final moment of suicidal madness could never recreate. 

Thank you for introducing me to another emotion, to place on the shelf next to love, passion, desire, and happiness like a new best-seller in his series. Forming a neat row of spines in matching styles each with the publishers logo at the bottom in a uniform pattern. “Now I have the set”, I say stepping back to admire my collection. I can’t have one without having them all. 

2 Comments

  1. Saha kr

    Azizam ,

    Is everything ok ??

    Reply
    • Ken Childs

      Take Care Brian.

      Reply

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