Moving On:

by | Jan 16, 2024 | Uncategorized | 2 comments

This is a message to all of my readers and friends. There will be no more writing for the foreseeable future. The reason being, that I am moving on. The place I have called home for forty years, has been tainted by events of the last three years.

I can no longer face living in my flat, the little haven I bought for my retirement. Nor can I face visiting all of the places that were special to me. 

I must say, I am excited about the future because I have found somewhere very special , where she cannot touch me. She’ll never be able to visit there, thanks to the Schengen Visa. A place where I have always been welcomed with open arms. All the memories I have of that special place are beautiful ones. My antidote to the memories that haunt me here.

To live with someone as man and wife for eighteen months then be abandoned and ghosted since the day before her birthday, almost killed me. My saviour was Brittany and a beautiful Egyptian whom I will never meet but who taught me how to love myself.

I consider myself to be a very lucky man to be given this opportunity, at this stage of my life. Unlike the fake chance I had with her. Something that should have been drowned at birth.

To be given so much love, having sixty-three gifts on my sixty-third birthday, and being bought a private number plate for my Christmas present, is overwhelming.  To have all of my friends contacted in secret to produce a birthday video and have a surprise party in my favourite pub, equally overwhelming. These things will always puzzle me.

On a positive note, I will take one of the babies with me, the one that always makes me cry. The one that my Muse painted in Qatar and gives me shivers every time I look at it. I’ll also take my beautiful Shimamoto, who will transport me on my adventures around Brittany. I’ll also take my virtual Little Hurricane in my pocket, even though she’ll be in The Emirates.

Just like New Year, when I celebrated three times, Cairo, Paris, and London. I will celebrate life in three dimensions.

The writing is the most exciting part. I am going to hone the skills I learned on our Masters course and complete the four novels, Sesame Seed, Hypnagogia, The Broken Doll, and L’ Esprit D’ Escalier.

I may even rewrite the novel we created together, which sadly, predicted the future. So, in two weeks time, I will say goodbye to the flat. The one she brought to life and even wrote letters and postcards to. Every nook and cranny reeks of her. It will be a home to someone else who has suffered as I have, and will be a new start for him too. So, at least something good will come from this whole affair.

There are things I can’t say here, with regards to family and culture. Things that have hurt me deeply, but I will never reveal because they would have devastating consequences for someone. 

Here’s to 2024, and what delights it will bring. Happy New Year to you all.


  1. Gavin Atkinson

    You sure you are doing the right thing. Its not another one of your butterfly moments, that seem good at the time but when thought out ends up exploding in your lap is it Brian. I suppose this means that we will no longer get to meet up at the left Luggage and Dog and Parrot for a pint. Well i wish you well and hope your future dreams and aspirations materialise and that you will be happy in yourself

    • brian

      If it is, it’s a long butterfly moment that’s been months in the planning and can’t come too soon.
      Also, yes, I’ll be back for our rendezvous’. All it means is that I’ll be flying from Paris to Newcastle return, instead of the opposite. See you soon x.


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