The Stone: Part Two.

by | Apr 8, 2024 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

Its appearance was alien too, seeming to be unlike no other stone I’d seen before, both naturally occurring or man made.

There, prone on the aforementioned beach towel, ws the beast with two backs. The creature was formed by the conjugal union of Mr and Mrs Portly. A man who, not five minutes earlier, could even put on his shoes, was giving Casanova and Errol Flinn a run for their money. The couple were going at it hammer and tongs to be crude about it. There was no denying their commitment to one another’s pleasure.

I ducked behind a large rock, torn between the embarrassment of being seen. and the curious need to observe the extraordinary scene; a kind of sexual car-crash.

Lying against the damp rock , at least I  was spared the visual display, closing my eyes and leaning against the cold stone.. However, the aural performance was just as detectable.  I covered my ears in sensory denial. On opening my eyes, I was met by a vision of pair number four; the eldest and, by far, the most decrepit of the quartet of couples. There couldn’t have been many years to their respective centuries.

The man, who could hardly walk himself, was virtually carrying his skeletal spouse. How they had managed the shoe routine without a carer, let alone the trek to this point, was a mystery to me. They managed to give a crackling cheer to both amorous couples and stared out to sea, waving. Following their gaze, I was drawn to couple number one, or should I say their clothes, which formed two neat piles just beyond the waves. Scanning the sea, I caught sight of two white objects bobbing on the surface resembling fisherman’s buoys. Skinny dipping? Really?  I was being transformed into a prude of the first degree by these debauched pensioners.

I now had a logistical problem. How to follow the snails while remaining invisible to The Last Tango in Paris. There seemed to be a way around my dilemma by scrambling over the bigger rocks above me. That way I could track the fourth pair while remaining invisible to the third. Following several minutes of strenuous scrambling, in which I was reminded again about my age, I had drawn level with Monsieur Darby and Madame Joan. I traced their progress for a further ten minutes, in which they were overtaken by whom I assumed to be couple number five. I sat on a dry rock and gathered my thoughts. A day of innocent contemplation at my favourite place, had turned into an unintended voyeuristic experience.

Looking ahead, I anticipated the finishing line for both couples; how could I miss it? Around twenty metres ahead of the foursome stood the most extraordinary stone. This piece of masonry bore no resemblance to the surrounding geology. It looked like it had been dropped there by some unknown force. Its appearance was alien too, seeming to be unlike no other stone I’d seen before, both naturally occurring or man made.

I was familiar with the local strata, having studied it, as with everything Breton. There were two distinct types of volcanic stone. One blue-grey and angular, the other almost silvery and subject to severe erosion; such that it formed almost spherical boulders.

This tiny outcrop appeared almost metallic in its make up, it’s vivid yellow hue, hinting at gold. It resembled an Egyptian artefact which had lain undiscovered for centuries.

Couple number five stopped and yielded to their predecessors, allowing them to reach the stone first. The next series of events relegated my recent extraordinary experiences to the lower leagues of wonderment.


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