Third Eye:

by | Nov 20, 2023 | Uncategorized | 1 comment

I was going to base today’s story on my usual walk down to Whitley Bay seafront. However an encounter on the way got me thinking and it turned into this. We’ll save that one for tomorrow.

Question: What is one of the most annoying things you experience on a regular basis? Mine, and that of a number of my friends, is the walking zombie, the doomscroller.

Their bodies occupy a large chunk of paving but their minds and their eyes are elsewhere. They have been enticed by the stunning headlines that take them to the most mundane of stories. Otherwise they’re on Instagram participating in Samy and Crystal’s amazing round the world trip, Episode thirty-five.

Two facts: I too have been a victim of the Google headline. Nevertheless I will experience it in the comfort of my own home not while walking down Northumberland Street on Black Friday.

The worst example of such clickbait was the banner, “Fire and Rescue save Felix from Certain Death!” (with pictures). Foolishly, I clicked to discover the story was about a cat stuck up a tree.

Second Fact: I have taken to timing the individuals as they hurtle towards me like a rudderless ship, without looking up. The record? Forty-Seven seconds. Can you imagine walking backwards in a busy street for almost one minute? Madness, eh?

Let’s talk about evolution, Darwinism. Imagine one day thousands of years hence. A baby is born (by elected Caesarean section, obviously). The Midperson holds it up by the ankles and gives its backside a slap. As the little creature wailes it’s heart out, she notices something. There in the centre of the wrinkled forehead is a slit, complete with eyelashes and a tear duct. It opens to reveal a bright blue Iris blinking at the brand you outside world.

It is obvious you would say. The little mite was conceived while mum and dad were glued to their screens. As their naked bodies were entwined she was leaning on his shoulder holding up her smartphone watching synchronised belly dancing on Tiktok. Meanwhile he was checking out Haaland’s latest hat-trick on iPlayer.

Frightening thought, isn’t it? However they’ll probably have their own dedicated footpath by then and we can all avoid them.

P.S. Don’t Google three eyed baby….ITS FUCKING SCARY!

1 Comment

  1. Ken Childs

    I once read a book about a third eye. Not sure I finished it The book was “The Dawn of Magic”


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